The past two months have been a torrent of times in trouble waters with decisions been made that I was barely able to actually make. In hindsight when I look back and try to analyse my decisions I, fall flat on where my logic was, where my mind was and how I was able to make such decisions that affected not just my own life but so many people close to me. I guess the important factor is that I can recognize it and try to correct it. My main aim now is to dissect it and put it back together piece by piece, maybe I might find some comfort for the hurt and pain that I caused so many.
This leads me to a question, Do we really know how many people’s lives are truly attached to our decisions we make everyday? Do we just make them without regard of knowing what it does to people around us? Sure enough, sometimes you need to make decisions for yourself and try keep all outside factors at bay, but do we ever really think about how it will affect people connected to us?
I recently was dealt a very handy lesson in life by life itself. Life took hold of me, put me over her knee and spanked every emotion I ever hid right out of me. I never knew the lesson I was suppose to learn and the more I resisted it the more life just dealt me the worse cards ever, setting me up for more emotions to feel. I have always been a fighter and I did what came naturally, I believed I was right and fought anything life tried to show me. I developed an imaginary world and sucked people who really cared about me into it. I made my closest family members believed my imaginary world. I sought for refuge by explaining my decisions, rationalising the choices I made , and while everyone agreed with me and made my imaginary world bigger, life was busy winding up that backhand that soon was to slap me into another universe, more like reality.
I say, looking back, when you feel like you are been pulled from one direction to the next and you feel like your world is spinning around you and you are not sure which way to turn, stop think and take in the learning the was meant to be taken in before you destroy your life and those closest to you. It is amazing how people can change their world and live in denial, just not to be able to deal with their current situation. Life has a plan for us and we need to take into account that we may not be in the driving seat all the time.
I'm not done with my journey as yet, and who knows if I ever will be done, but we live and learn each day and while doing this, we decide on which routes to take. Change is the only constant that we will ever have in our lives, I say embrace it and take it to the next level. If you fight it you may be in line for one of life’s winding back hands that soon enough slaps u into reality. Stop, Look, and listen to what’s around you, and appreciate those around you with the comfort of knowing that you are loved. When its time to decide, remember your decisions affect many people around you, some obvious and some not so, be very careful who you hurt with your decisions.
