Which commodity do you value most ?

So the years have passed, I have grown, you have grown, we have all grown. The question that seems to elude so many people is "what have you grown into this time?"  I think it's an everlasting question that one must answer, you grow and change yearly, even daily for that matter.

The Question I ask,  still remains, what's the commodity you value most? At this point in my life , with my change on the brink of occurring , my commodity has to be TIME. Where did all that time go? While I was meandering in this cycle of life , pretending to know where I'm going, I never paused to reflect on who and most importantly what I have become.  In the few years of my hiatus , I realized that I may plan what I like, I may even force and proceed with the might of Hitlers army and his dogged determination to rule the world, however like Hitler did, you loose sight of humanity, and in like Hittlers failure , I was none the less doomed to fail.

The point is simple, while you change and pretend to know who you are, remember the time that has passed, who you were , and who you becoming. It's never too late to change, however with change comes constant reassessment of your life and just like in any business, take stock, see where you short. Who has been stealing your stock? Has your stock become obsolete . High priced items damaged? Non moving stock? It's time to decide what to do, stop planning based on what you feel is right and start moving towards a plan that accepts where you fall short and then rectify it. What do you have to loose but by been a better person?

There are many facets to life, ones we have experienced and ones we will one day experience. Through it all, TIME is what we cannot get back, acquire more of , or relive it. Make each second count. Make your family rank right up there for time, they will always keep your time and you theirs, your job, your friends, your earthly desires don't hold your time like your family dose.

Make it count before you have NO TIME left!

Till next time

Lifes Perfect Impasse. May-June 2014

''A bargaining impasse occurs when the two sides negotiating an agreement are unable to reach an agreement and become deadlocked.
The word impasse may also refer to any situation in which no progress can be made.
A stalemate in chess is a common example.''


So im back hahha, seems like forever and a day.

A notion popped into mind and I have to have my say on it. The last couple of months have proven to be a humbling almost peaceful transition. Transition from what to what, errrrm I will get back to you on that. Basically allot of people have been sharing their life stories with me and I have come up with a label for it , ' LIFES PERFECT IMPASSE'

Its a really simple concept, there comes a point in your life when an impasse occurs, where no progress can be made. Yup that's right guys, sounds totally loopy but believe me, when you sit down and think about it, all the hardships you have been through are just basically lifes way of saying ,'THIS IS YOUR IMPASSE' 

No, its not unfair in any regard, its just a simple way of saying "your destiny is mapped out for you" you cannot continue on is path, it's time to change. How many people actually listen carefully enough for that sign? I see and hear many people, sitting in the middle on their "Impasse" for years feeling miserable. What's the point people. If it's not working , it's time for change.

That's my little rant for the day....

So people , just know, whe you at an Impasse, you do actually have a choice to stay in it or CHANGE it!

When the music stops..... August 2014

Wow it's been a long time, not that I have had nothing to share, on the contrary, buckets loads has happened but that's for another time...

I have been thinking about motivation, goals and aspirations in life and in general ,life. I suppose I am at an impasse  and these are my thoughts.

So you practically live your life governed by rules and set standards that although you know are tough, are achievable and nothing will stop you. Years pass and you are still determined to throw everything on the line to achieve these goals. Things seem tough but you have to push on and make sure you don't fall at the last few hurdles. Let me tell you from experience, the last few hurdles are the worse, when you can touch it, taste it and imagine it ,yet there are major challenges standing on your way, makes it intangible for now.

When does motivation finally wade, what's suppose to replace it, I mean come on, we all human and must ,after years of fighting, rest to replenish the barracks for the next round. I compare this impasse to war. It's costly and the real effects are felt by almost everyone but mostly the ones fighting for a
chance.On the war front, it's not just a financial burden to rebuild walls and armies it's the emotional turmoil that everyone I the kingdom feels,  and at some point there must be a ceasefire when an impasse occurs. I suppose from the mere fact that you are still fighting indicates that your war is not over? I'm not so sure anymore. However your battles plans seems to improve each time.

It's hard to see the small steps your take when the losses are just to intense.

When you find yourself competing for motivation, hunger and eagerness to succeed then you really need to sit and evaluate which link in the chain has snapped. This is the point I like to call the "critical point", it somehow determines what your nest step is going to be.The hardest thing to do is to actually put one foot I front of the other when you have fallen a few times. They say you actually come out stronger and I agree, but when you know whats on the line, what's at risk, and when the thought of actual demise is ever so real, you stumble when the challenges seem bigger than you. You crack, you find every excuse on why it won't work and already start contingency plans. That A type personality kicks in automatically.

When it comes down to the bare facts it's simple, when you suddenly find yourself flat footed in the middle of your goal, in total silence and all alone, remember :
1. Don't take over analyze your losses- expense it
2. No matter how small a gain is, it's a step on the staircase, emphasize it

So in no apparent conclusion, "when the music stops".... Remember the sound of it, remember the
emotions it evoked, and when you have the faith to hope ,that you hear it again, YOU WILL

Blame Apartheid, why don't you.... I say Shame on you...

Its been a while has it not..... But im back, i must have found my talking voice and decided to pen it...

So as the current news stands we have a political storm brewing within the ANC over what we can and cant blame for the current state of our beautiful country. Manuel says that the ANC cannot blame Apartheid any longer for the shortfalls of the country in its current state, and his party leader says it would be gravely incorrect not to blame Apartheid.

Lets just take a step back, firstly, are we talking about one party? Or have the cracks decided to show in the ANC? Or are politicians only waking up now to the damage that they are inflicting on their very own people. I mean come on, for one, who are the people voting these clowns into power? I have an answer for you, the very people who still believe that they are poor and live in rural SA ,all because of the 'WHITE' government who inflicted this upon them, and they have to vote ANC so that they can have a better future. Does the ANC think that they can keep that argument going for eternity? Have they not taken enough away from their own people to realize that their rivals are gaining on them because of their lack of leadership in taking the party to the next level and our country along with it? Its taken 20 years in the making and the real poor person who vote ANC still cling onto hope, hope that was promised by a formidable man TATA MADIBA himself. Is that just not a shame when you can use a person plight to fuel your greed!!! Its more of a disgrace.

I recently had the privilege of graduating with my degree and what struck me the most was the speech given by The Hon Judge President BM Ngope. I was preparing for a speech that is so famous for talking about how powerful we now are and all our hard work and blah blah blah blah, instead i got a speech that inspired me to make a change no matter how small it is.

His speech was simple, his based it solely on how  we can make a difference, how when a politician fails us our way to ensure a true democratic state is not to vote for them again. He used the analogy of how if driving on the road and a sheep begins to cross the road,  no matter how fast your car is , you better slow down because if one sheep crosses, there is sure to be the rest of the flock. He said he knew of a family who use to vote NP, no matter what. The mother voted NP, the Father voted NP and so did the kids. He asked the kid one day, why do you vote NP, he said cos everyone in his family voted NP.

He then went on to say that now that we are educated at a tertiary level, we should be able to make the distinction of been part of the flock or giving serious thought when we decide on anything. This inspired me, inspired me to think that, if the ruling party's able to oppress its people by means of withholding education, is it not our duty as the  educated and knowledgeable, to make a change by asking our cleaners and gardeners why they vote the way they do? And explaining to them what change could do? How can we turn a blind eye to it and just complain to the rest of the world how bad our country is? By going  through life and not worrying about the future of our country its naive and short sighted  we don't live for the now, we live for the legacy to be passed on to our kids and their kids, the legacy of how great our nation is, and how we have earned the right to fight any oppression no matter who the oppressor  is.

This is my part, whats yours?

Through the rapids...

The past two months have been a torrent of times in trouble waters with decisions been made that I was barely able to actually make. In hindsight when I look back and try to analyse my decisions I, fall flat on where my logic was, where my mind was and how I was able to make such decisions that affected not just my own life but so many people close to me. I guess the important factor is that I can recognize it and try to correct it. My main aim now is to dissect it and put it back together piece by piece, maybe I might find some comfort for the hurt and pain that I caused so many.

This leads me to a question, Do we really know how many people’s lives are truly attached to our decisions we make everyday? Do we just make them without regard of knowing what it does to people around us? Sure enough, sometimes you need to make decisions for yourself and try keep all outside factors at bay, but do we ever really think about how it will affect people connected to us?

I recently was dealt a very handy lesson in life by life itself. Life took hold of me, put me over her knee and spanked every emotion I ever hid right out of me. I never knew the lesson I was suppose to learn and the more I resisted it the more life just dealt me the worse cards ever, setting me up for more emotions to feel. I have always been a fighter and I did what came naturally, I believed I was right and fought anything life tried to show me. I developed an imaginary world and sucked people who really cared about me into it. I made my closest family members believed my imaginary world. I sought for refuge by explaining my decisions, rationalising the choices I made , and while everyone agreed with me and made my imaginary world bigger, life was busy winding up that backhand that soon was to slap me into another universe, more like reality.

I say, looking back, when you feel like you are been pulled from one direction to the next and you feel like your world is spinning around you and you are not sure which way to turn, stop think and take in the learning the was meant to be taken in before you destroy your life and those closest to you. It is amazing how people can change their world and live in denial, just not to be able to deal with their current situation. Life has a plan for us and we need to take into account that we may not be in the driving seat all the time.

I'm not done with my journey as yet, and who knows if I ever will be done, but we live and learn each day and while doing this, we decide on which routes to take. Change is the only constant that we will ever have in our lives, I say embrace it and take it to the next level. If you fight it you may be in line for one of life’s winding back hands that soon enough slaps u into reality. Stop, Look, and listen to what’s around you, and appreciate those around you with the comfort of knowing that you are loved. When its time to decide, remember your decisions affect many people around you, some obvious and some not so, be very careful who you hurt with your decisions.

Broken

Ever wonder why the word Broken is never a word that describes the end of something? Well taking a page out of my own book I'm saying, we, as humans we are taught that when it breaks we can always fix it. Remember how your favourite toy would break in some poor mishap and you would ball your eyes out,and your mom or dad would somehow have a makeshift repair done? Now that the sort of thing that parents teach us without saying words, the teach us to mend things and never use broken as a word of finality, but what they fail to tell you is that that the makeshift repair alters the toy its self. Though we might play with is for a little while longer, we soon lose interest and find a new best toy...

Is this not part of growing? Learning and moving forward? Do we ever stop learning or growing? I don’t think so, we just try to slow the process down with years by lying to ourselves

Its like good emotions? We all as adults have them, but we seldom control it, we don’t know how, yet we penalise ourselves when we know  we feel the wrong emotions... WTF, when did we lose the lesson of broken? If its broken, its damaged, no matter how much you try and repair it, the crack still shows. Its a constant reminder of how it broke, why it broke and how defeated you are. Its time to make hard choices at this point

I say, personally that is, in life, love and personal growth, we all need to break things, we will all come across feeling broken, its a cycle that repeats itself if you don’t have the balls to break the cycle. Love , life and growth should not break you, you may shed ,and come out with a new shinny exterior but you should never be broken by it. Funny thing is, if you are broken by it, the crack shows, and its a constant reminder that while you believed in forever and worked for it, the earth shattered beneath your feet. How does one recover from that?

So what do you do when Love or Life breaks you? 

I would suggest

1.       Forgive yourself, life is too short.

2.       Move past it knowing that you dug deep but found yourself alone.

3.       The crack that shows in your heart, remember you never cracked it but you will heal it completely alone or with the help of someone brave enough to see past the crack.

4.       Love again, and don’t hold back, give all you have, its what you meant to do, whether you get hurt again or not, you can’t love harbouring ill feelings or thoughts of hate and hurt.

5.       Accept the fact that you are different now, and make peace with it.

Just remember, if you always remain true to yourself and your main vein runs true, you will have some solace through the pain and hurt you feel. Try not to lie to yourself, because as time passes it builds to a point where you explode.

Destinations

I suppose in life we are faced with many crossroads and sometimes we choose the wrong fork in the road, unbeknown to us we travel for miles on end only realise that we don’t seem to be going where we wanted to..

What does one do? Keep walking? Stop and take in the beauty that we missed on the wrong path or continue walking until we reach some sort of familiarity? Most people in my opinion don’t do anything, they just keep walking and hope for the path to somehow make sense. This is Dangerous, years pass by and you feel empty, alone, depressed and confused, by the time you realise that you have walked too far you feel trapped.

I say be brave, stop, take stock and decide what will make you happy. The only solution is to find your way again, find yourself, and the hardest thing to do, is to walk back to that fork in the road where you went wrong and decide from that point to choose the other path. The silly thing about this is that it’s not a day’s walk, it’s a journey that you must take alone and even worse while back tracking you change, you grow, and you become someone else. I believe the trick is not to lose yourself again but note the points of interest and mark them.

People say life is a journey, how true is that? We never have a destination and the journey never seems to end, the goal posts keep changing and sometimes it knocks the wind out of you when you least expect it. You get lost, run out of fuel, hungry, tired and even worn down. Should life not be considered as a journey me thinks, life should be a destination. I mean are we all not trying to achieve different things in life? Are we all not trying to make a life for ourselves? I say the journey begins when you change your life, ie: when you change your destination. Think about it, when you were young, you wanted to be a doctor, teacher, lawyer and so you thought that what life should be. You chose a destination, and then you journeyed to reach that destination, but you grew up and realised you rather be something else, so you swopped one destination for another. That to me is what life is like, we chose something and only the brave and fortunate decide that it’s time for a change. Time to change the destination.

As the New Year approaches many people make resolutions that they never fulfil, I say stop trying to tweak your reality and start trying to change it.

Here’s to a new year filled with unknown possibilities and new destination.......